Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
