i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
