I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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