Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
