he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
