No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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