just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
