A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
