You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
