Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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