I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
