I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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