i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
