We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
