Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
