No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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