I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
