Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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