I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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