And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
