i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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