In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
