I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
