her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
