Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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