just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
