He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
