but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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