apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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