You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
