OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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