I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
