Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
