i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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