I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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