thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
