shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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