yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
