I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ugly people sure do ruin things
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
