Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
