were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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