ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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