You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No stitches, just platelets and will power
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
