ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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