It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
