I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
