I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
