Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm at about main and main street
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
