didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just threw up on my dentist
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
