I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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