sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize