well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
