I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
