I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
