3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize