I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
