I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
