so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
