Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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