Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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